#whenyourboyfriendbecomesadoomsdayprepper

Firstly I’d like to share this.

So that should you wish to actually read what my boyfriend is talking about you can.

It’s an interesting premise

And certainly one full of odd a peculiar coincidences.

But are they really any more than that?

He also thinks Obama is the re-incarnation of the Anti-Christ with the original being Hitler because according to his sources Obama is basically the black Hitler – he also goes on to say that Obama is from the Middle-East and is Muslim but that’s another story.

He believes that the Large Hadron Collider will be switched on on the 23rd of September thus creating a black hole, which will naturally suck in the entire world and that’ll be us. Over. Gone. Turned into cosmic goop.

(Even though the LHC has been on since April and currently doesn’t have the power to push the atoms fast enough to create anything at all which was why it was such down in the first place)

He also believes the governments are lying to us.

That Texas is under Martial Law.

That the Military is covering up in preparation for a major take over (notably he thinks all this other stuff will somehow all happen within the next five days before the LHC gets turned on and we all get sucked into a black hole)

That the Pope said that Catholics were no longer Catholics.

And that the Pope signed an official document with Obama to agree to bomb Syria (though why the Pope would be involved in a military decision I have yet to discover)

and so on.

I on the other had take much of this with a pinch of salt.

One movie does not a history make.

Nor does a few keyboard activists in there mummies basements spinning stories to appease their psyche that they are not wasting their miserable lives.

And so I can only think of humorous replies.

I feel terrible yes because we are currently not speaking due to my reluctance to accept the words given to a movie and his refusal to accept that all of this is complete clap trap without any real evidence.

But seriously.

The day after the impending apocalypse I have some ripper hashtags for him.

And a cake

“I’m so sorry you’re impending apocalypse didn’t happen”

Well actually just a plate with “I’m sorry the black hole got the cake”

#shouldprobablyhavegonetoworkthisweek

#survivedanotherdoomsday

#apocalypsenotsonow

#whenyourboyfriendwantstobeadoomsdayprepper

Another thing my mother says

My mum as I’m sure you’ve noticed is well odd.

An over religious women who is about the most intolerant and unforgiving person I have ever ever ever met (and yes I should be studying but seriously)

Last night it was:

Mother Dearest: “But you’re not going to marry this one”

Me: “Why what’s wrong with him?”

Mother Dearest: “Think of what the children would be like”

Me: “MUM I DON’T FLIPPING WANT KIDS”

Like what? Think of the children? What children? I’m 22 for gods sake why on earth would I be thinking about them in the first place? Never mind the fact I literally cannot stand the idea of owning one of those things. If my upbringing is anything to go by I think I’d be damn useless at parenting.

In her attempt to be “subtle” she practically kicks the door down and screams she doesn’t like the guy. Like how do you even respond to such a bizarre statement?

The human life is made up of choices. Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. And then there are the choices that matter. Love or hate. To be a hero or be a coward. To fight or to give in. To live. Or die. Live or die. That’s the important choices. And it’s not always in our hands.

This Is How We Date Now

Thought Catalog

iStockphotoiStockphoto / MmeEmil

We don’t commit now. We don’t see the point. They’ve always said there are so many fish in the sea, but never before has that sea of fish been right at our fingertips on OkCupid, Tinder, Grindr, Dattch, take your pick. We can order up a human being in the same way we can order up pad thai on Seamless. We think intimacy lies in a perfectly-executed string of emoji. We think effort is a “good morning” text. We say romance is dead, because maybe it is, but maybe we just need to reinvent it. Maybe romance in our modern age is putting the phone down long enough to look in each other’s eyes at dinner. Maybe romance is deleting Tinder off your phone after an incredible first date with someone. Maybe romance is still there, we just don’t know what it looks like now.

When we…

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Mothers in Law (to be)

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Does everyone have to hate their mother in laws?

Do mothers in law have to hate the girl dating their son?

Do they have to go out of their way to cause a stir?

What is it about a girl that they suddenly decide is just not worth the air they breathe?

My “mother in law” so to speak, has suddenly given me the flick. All over me wanting to cut my hair short. For context, I have long hair, but it’s annoying it curls it’s way into dread locks that I then have to spend weeks combing out and conditioning. It’s a hand full. And I threw out the idea of cutting it short. Like Ruby Rose short. Short back and sides with a longer area on top I could style. I threw it at my friends they cheered, my boyfriend asked if he could do it for me, my parents said to talk to the hair dresser first and then my mother in law.

Well she…She decided that if I cut my hair my “bad boy boyfriend” would leave me.

I was justifiably offended I feel.

She called he son shallow.

I’d say that’s grounds for being mildly offended and a tad hurt. So I said so and all I got in reply?

“Well I know him better”

Obviously.

He’s your son.

But if the guy was so shallow he’d dump me over a hair cut wouldn’t he have already dumped me over my stretch marks, sleepy eyes and wobbly bits?

He loves all my flaws but cutting my hair is unforgivable?

She’s like the motherfucking step mother from Tangled stroking her hair.

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Craaaaazy

But I let it go and just walked away.

Facebook makes key board warriors of us all right?

And then.

She makes a call about arts students.

About how our degrees are a waste of every body else’s time and money, and how really we should all go out and get “real jobs”

Which is funny.

When arts students say it.

BECAUSE IT’S HOW WE LAUGH AT OURSELVES

but that doesn’t mean she can go throwing shade on people just for shits and giggles.

What made it all that sinch more personal was her jab at my enlistment into the Army Reserves. Which amazingly I did not do to find a job but because it has been something I’ve always wanted to be involved with.

I worked hard from primary school.

I practised and practised and practised every single day with the one goal of making it to university and studying music and getting into a world renowned orchestra and playing for the world.

A waste of time?

learning an art isn’t just a job it’s a lifestyle. We choose these jobs knowing it might take a while, knowing we might be poor, or living on bare minimum but we choose it anyway.

Because we love it.

We want to share it with the world.

We want to practise our art, force our way into it’s secrets.

Learn.

Am I so wrong to feel offended by her words?

As much as I know she may only talk in jest. Has she not gone to far?

poking fun and taking swings are two different things.