So as the title suggest. I really don’t understand the new word press. I really don’t get how to attach things or add photos or anything. It’s so confusing. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME.
Anyway, the Ice Hockey was fan-freeaaaking-tastic. However the person I took (being the lovely young EB games boy I found meandering around my workplace) was so unbelievably nervous about the idea of being on a date (we’ll get to the fact he’s 19 and never been kissed in a minute) that he decided to have a few pre date drinks. And when I say a few I mean a 500ml bottle of vodka in the space of about 30 minutes. So by the time I picked him up, I felt like I was walking round with my over zealous little brother rather than my crush.
And then to top of his rather awkward juvenile act. He managed to get me to drive him home
for the second time this week and then NOT FUCKING KISS ME. I mean seriously I was leaning in, closing my eyes, playing with my hair, making that impressive eye contact that creates the whole moment. And yet he managed to miss, and yes I said miss, not ignore, EVERY. FREAKING. CLUE.
But today, as I arrived at work and announced to the whole of my staff cohort as well as probably the numerous people at the counter that I DID NOT GET FUCKING LAID LAST NIGHT I realised how comically hilariously sad my life is. I have the skilled gift of attracting every bizarre and awkwardly lonely person in existence and then poke them like a sleeping bear and discover the one teeny tiny thing that sets them into a gigantic tailspin. And yet I somehow manage to laugh about it and find the funny way to tell everyone and anyone who wants to know.
My life could be a 5pm sitcom, and I really think I need to see it that way a little more. It’s funny, it’s unfortunate, it’s really quite sad, but I might as share it around so that should there be any other lizard attracting people such as myself we can band together and unite.
Like, Stray Dogs United.