because I’m NOT a porn star

Ladies & Gentlemen.

I’m in a posting kind of mood.

But I’m not going to apologise. 

I’m fucking hilarious and if you don’t like it you can leave. 

 

AAAANNYWHOOOOOO

 

I think every boy EVER needs to read this ever so clever little 27 pointer

Because lets be honest, we aren’t all going to be naturally flexible horny porn stars 24/7 for the man of our dreams, and we’d all appreciate not being treated as such. If there was ever a time I would like an ex to “stumble” upon my blog it would be now. I fell off my chair reading this, for all the wrong reasons. I have on so many occasions questioned where exactly the man trying to pleasure me learnt his so called “skills” I don’t ever recall mentioning half the things you lot seem to think I will cleaaaaarly love even though I’ve never even heard of a Melon Basket (and yes Easy A quote for the win) 

 

Read and weep ladies.

 

And boys, honestly, slow and steady wins the race. 

Save the reverse inverted cowgirl in the shower for the porn star living in your dreams. 

 

Regards. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s